Service for Kimberly Patterson Murphy

at the St. John Chapel, Choate Rosemary Hall, Wallingford, CT

Saturday, December 2, 2000

by employer and friend, Jeffery Beyda

I have been given the great honor to speak to you today about Kim. Kim was a colleague of mine at Brownstone where I was fortunate enough to have her as my design director. Although Kim was a co-worker, a great designer, and a tremendously creative asset to my company, I considered her first and foremost a friend...and I forever will.

When Brian called and asked me to say a few words about Kim from a co-workers perspective, I had two hesitations. First was that I really consider Kim to be an extension of family so much more so than a co-worker. Second, was the knowledge that whatever words I manage to put on this paper, would fall far short of capturing Kim's essence. It is like trying to describe what colors are to a blind person. If they haven't seen it first hand, no amount of words conveys its basic nature, beauty and depth.

Although Kim's life was certainly cut short, the duration is but one scale on which to grade it; and perhaps the least appropriate scale when thinking about the totality of Kim's life and her impact on those around her. She had mastered aspects of living that most people don't master in a hundred-years, if at all. Simple, important, yet elusive truths about life and meaning Kim connected with on a level I will aspire to the rest of my life.

I often found myself in awe at the inner peace she seemed to carry with her, her easygoing nature, and her uncanny ability to make those around her laugh and connect with each other. Judged on this scale, and not on the scale of time, I believe she left us a wise old lady who lived a full, important and meaningful life.

At work, Kim was committed, talented and loyal to no end. She never complained, and even in the most stressful situations Kim found time to smile, joke and gently lift the spirits of her co-workers. She treated everyone with respect, regardless of his or her position in the company. She was always kind, considerate and helpful.

She was quickly promoted from designer to design director and was responsible for the design directions and execution for an entire division in our company. She never, ever let me down and always made me laugh in the process. Her ability to balance a good time and hard work was exceptional.

What I loved most about Kim was her playful nature, and one memory stands out in particular. With her promotion came the responsibility of overseas travel, and we made a few trips to Asia together to meet with our Taiwanese makers. I remember that at the first meeting Kim found it hysterical to find out that audible belching in Taiwan is basically the equivalent to yawning in the U.S. Something you would rather not do in a formal meeting, but if you need to its not frowned upon. Kim took to rating them on a one to ten scale holding up pieces of paper with numbers on them, turning it into an Olympic event. She could not stop laughing after the meeting in her sweet and contagious way. About an hour later she had the bright idea that it would be a complete goof if at the next meeting I join the chorus with our Asian partners. How she convinced me to do this to this day I don't know.

At our next meeting she gave me the signal she so careful arranged, but I came up short. Disappointed in me, she decided I had not been properly prepared. At the next meeting she showed up with two cans of coke, which she began to pour for me and insist that I drink them, quickly. After considerable preparation, and egging on from Kim, I became one of the three tenors, right there in Taipei, for a good ten seconds. We were both in stitches, her because it was funny, me because I may have ripped my spleen during my performance.

This can only happen with Kim. She never took herself too seriously, and it gave those around her license not to as well. She had a way of bringing the kid out in everyone. And on that day, she brought out my 13-year-old. I hadn't seen him in 19 years.

To John, Nora, and Brian you have been an inspiration to all of us at Brownstone. If ever there was a family worthy of Kim you are it. You have redefined how families should support each other, care for each other, and love each other. As lucky as you all are to have Kim be such a big part of your lives, she certainly was just as lucky to have all of you in her life. Kim had a way of weaving herself into our hearts, and she was a big part of all our lives in New York as well, both professionally and personally, so I don't think I am out of line if I say thank you for taking such good care of our Kim. We rested a little easier knowing she was getting the best care and the best love the world had to offer.

Brian, as you know you are also part of the Brownstone family. Kim had drafted you so many times for all-nighters in our office that at one point I needed to check the payroll to find out if you were a full time employee. Please lean on us through this difficult time, and if you ever need to be surrounded by the people who loved Kim, you know the address.
Kim taught me so much in such a short time:

She taught me the importance of balance in life
She taught me that it's easier to be happy and kind then to not
She taught me not to take myself too seriously
But perhaps the most important lesson she taught me is that, if given the opportunity to belch in public, seize it, because you never know when you may have a chance to do it again.

We love you Kim, and will miss you dearly.